Open up! Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Wishing you a happy retirement! Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Humorous quotes and messages. Now that leadership is gone. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. The Wedding. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. Quote Mug. 4. Congratulations. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. Goodbye Tension. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. When Cops Retire. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Dishes. 59. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You just stole my heart. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! 11. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." Before you invest, investigate. 33. Quote #20. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. As we express our gratitude, we must never # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. Here are some humorous options. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Police say they have nothing to go on. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Why did the police arrest the turkey? "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. 6. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! We, your Friends and Brothers, All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. Pinterest. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Dishes who? If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Keep in touch . This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Among other things, NewRetirement Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. What happened? Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Present This to You as a Symbol of 21. The perfect crime was committed last night. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. to date. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". "We envy you, but are excited for you!". Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . A word of warning. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. The water is fine! We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon "You will be alone. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. J. There was no other cop on the beat. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Happy retirement my dear friend. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. In appreciation for over 31 years to the New York Police Department. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. 19. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. 8329 matching entries found. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Before you quit, try. All the best! Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. 2. 6. R.C. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links comprehensive, reliable. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." What do you call a snake that informs the police? Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. 10. 48. 7. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes "It's your turn. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise It's all lazy days from now on! A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. 31. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Thank You for the 28 years you gave So, he died of natural causes. What are the four food groups for cops? Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. 29. 32. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. From the movie: Judge Dredd. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. Cars are backed up for miles. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. They serve and protect. | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. A Lifelong Friendship. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. Retirement is wonderful. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. I tell them, a paternity suit. Here's a nice variety of rhyming retirement poems that you may share with someone that is about to retire or has recently retired. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. And what do they give us? The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you Now, as the day dawns Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. It was mugged. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. What does a frog use to keep away burglars? to utter words, but to live by them. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! A bloody clock!" And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec.