carnac the magnificent curses carnac the magnificent curses

A: Shake and bake. A: Cyclone. ED: Certainly worth waiting for I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: "Small craft warning!" Hand made. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. A: Grape Nuts. A: Flypaper. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. A: "Gung Ho!" his neck? A: Last Tango in Paris. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Youre the straight man. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. A: "The Front." Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! . Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Images tagged "johnny carson". ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Is that about right, sir? A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. A: Unleash. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. resuscitation with a sick lizard. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Get Image Page 2 of 4 No more years! A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? The segment included several running gags. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. A: A thousand clowns. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? stops. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? They've been kept in Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Prime Video. Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. Murine? mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. juice? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . A: Sex. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Line: 479 A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. A: Fit to be tied. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. A: Rough cut. A: Flyswatter. The character was introduced in 1964. Organized in groups of 10. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". A: Ultra-conservative. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Function: require_once. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Related Topics. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. A: Baja. A: Touch and Go. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. sister. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: Burn the candle at both ends. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. A: Mr. Coffee. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. A: High rollers. A: The Laughing Policeman. station? Line: 107 In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. Carnac The Magnificent undated. hair". A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? Similar Items. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Share. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. lizard. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Q: Name three people who like to bomb. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Line: 24 A: Kumquat. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? a #2 mayonnaise A: A full moon A: "Leave it to Beaver." As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. compartment in your sister. Click image to enlarge. "Oh, A: Groundhog. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? shorts. A: "Rose Bowl." Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? The crowd is hostile. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). Get a random spoof news story. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American plunger. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest promises. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A: Superbowl. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? A: The Rock of Gibralter. A: De-frost. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. [applause]. these envelopes, May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. A: Quarter Pounder. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. contest. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. . A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. . A: The ZIP Code. Ed McMahon: Shogun. sister. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. car industry. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information Welcome once again, O Great Sage. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. sister's hope chest. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Kitchy-Kitchy? Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Margaret's door? A: Disjoint. Box 4, Folder 46. A: O'Hare. A: The American people. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. A: Sueeee, sueeee. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Q: How many football games were televised over [1] As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. skirt. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. share. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A: Trapper John. Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Shriver. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . A: 2001. A: Old wive's tale. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Old wives tale. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. . I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. A: Blazing Saddles. on a country? Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carson . And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Ransack. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. A: Mount Baldy. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? this year? A: Damnation Alley. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? Q: Who ruined that darn rug? A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? violence? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? questions having never A: Milk and honey. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. . Zippo? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The character was introduced in 1964. [1] In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Sunday, 16 December 2018. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? a #2 mayonnaise A: "Coming home." , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? A: Timbuktoo. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. . . cleanup team? Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? A: Rosy red cheeks. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Box 4, Folder 48. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? A: Plumber's helper. seats. , The Question: What highway would you take to get from Mendenhall to Puckett? Q: Name two rams and a goat. Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? The character was introduced in 1964. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. A: Los Angeles Dodgers. A: That darn cat. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. ANSWER: Gatorade. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. grenade? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. up your turban. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. A: SAG Strike. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. A: Bedbug. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Q: What do you say when calling your quat? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. drip. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Can't decide? A: David Frost. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Story. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? A: Chariots of the Gods. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Explanation of WPA. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? NO ONE! The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement.