military aviation jokes military aviation jokes

When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. 30. Turn it off and watch the pilot start sweating. In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. Aircraft Engineers 1. How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? 33. Aircraft Carriers Airshows Aviation History Aviation Humor Books Civil Aviation Cold War Era Drones F-14 Tomcat Helicopters Losses/Aviation Safety MiG Killers Military Aviation Space SR-71 Blackbird SR-71 Top Speed U.S. Navy Warbirds Weapons Yearly Summary. What do you call someone who joined the military out of spite? Speed is life. As the soldiers disembarked, they started to jeer and boo. These military jokes about the United States Air Force are a mixed bag. One night, he returned to the dorm in his perfectly pressed uniform, his newly acquired name tag in his hand. There was one particular sergeant that worried about everything possible. ", 55. Officer: Soldier. ", The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothing and said, "Take what you want", The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway". I was instructing new recruits when an officer entered my classroom to observe and report on my teaching style. We were inspecting several lots of grenades. Bomber Pilots Do Them Too. The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out. Unfortunately, the sun was shining Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. Emergency Checklist Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it. Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all, as they should be. Of course, he responded. A Military lab has developed a pizza that boasts a shelf life of three years without being frozen, and now the Week has asked its readers to name this durable dish. When I told him I had no clue how to make soup, he handed me a cookbook and instructed, Follow the directions carefully. Its not weak, he replied. You had tents?" I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. The ships operations officer entered the messdeck, his eyes bleary and at half-mast. Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board. All you have to do is remove the dirt.. Two thousand dollars a week, he replied. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?, Without hesitating the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth! You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. Do you know where the sensor is located? my coworker asked. U.S. Navy Warship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees south to avoid a collision. One started by saying, Okay smartass, which one is closer, the moon or Florida? The second responded by saying, Obviously its the moon you cant see Florida!. What grades do you need to get to join the Navy? Takeoffs are optional. Germany, like other NATO members, is protected by . ", Warren replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Joy fell out, but you know, fifty quid is fifty quid". Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate, 18. Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 bomber that had one engine shut down. (pointing at the sky). We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. When Is Military Appreciation Month? Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. Meanwhile, the sergeant glared at the others. My startled classmate sat up and responded, Place a temporary filling, sir!. Tell these quips to a friend in the service to give them a good chuckle. Unless you can be Batman. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. I was stationed in England with the Air Force when I went to a local barber. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. How different military branches use the stars: The U.S. Army sleeps beneath the stars. Get up! Checking to see that he had everyones attention, he asked, What is the first rule?, Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, Shut up, Drill Sergeant!, Army Says: HOOOOOAH! Funny military jokes are a great way to bring some morale to our service people, so whip out a few of these military jokes at your next gathering of family or friends to get some guaranteed laughs. He did his daredevil tricks over, and over again, but still not a word. 44. Ask the Air Force to secure a building and they will sign a 10 year lease with an option to buy. Then came Dads ships turn. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. and his platoon of recruits were marching, their sergeant slipped and tumbled down a ravine. Why were the Marines invented? Long Haul Co-Pilot: What?!. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. Why does the military only allow dress shirts during ceremonies and events? Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. ", "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. Climbing out of the wreckage, Brian asked Tommy, Any idea where we are?, I think were pretty close to where we crashed last year Brian, 5. Here soldiers share what theyve gleaned from past gaffes: Soon after arriving at basic training, we were marched to the base barbershop, where we were told wed find a clipboard with our names on it. Now he likes peanuts.. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, 20. Theres a post recall and he has to go to work. 41. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. Fish Food. Both have been racing sled dogs for decades. 4. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. I say again, stand down and divert your course. As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!. 16. "Ah", the fighter pilot remarked "The dreaded Seven-Engine approach", 12. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. The guy put down the paper, turned to my friend, and said, Well, there goes the light bulb.. . I have been telling the same joke for a lot of years, but today I will change it up. She's been working as a writer, editor, QA specialist, and SEO professional for more than four years. The Coast Guard often gets its share of jokes starting with the fact that it was formerly part of the Department of Transportation (now Homeland Security) and not the Department of Defense . 8.3.4 Modern aviation history. 18. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. A Soldier and a Marine were sitting next to each other on a plane. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. The controller while working a busy shift told a 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). They all originally set out to become Marines. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. Aviation Humor. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time? ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". I thought I was on top of my game that day, but he was quite scrupulous, as evidenced by the fact that his written evaluation of me cited this issue: Instructor loses eye contact with class while writing on blackboard.. 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. Their one extravagance: a bare light bulb theyd hung from the ceiling. One guy was reading a newspaper article from back home about a congressional investigation into why some troops were living in relative luxury. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. Rodrigues there? It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. While drinking their beers, the smart-ass fighter pilot decided to ask, How many did you end up catching today.. Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. Discover a funny military joke about the U.S. Army with this list. Hence, the Army will post guards in specific vulnerable areas. OHH OHOH! Please do not leave children or spouses, 14. The other Sergeants noticed that he looked more relaxed than ever. 65. 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures! Home; Jokes; Pictures; Videos; GIFs; Runway 37 Comics; Weird Wings; Today I Learned; Quizzes; Jokes. However, even with full power, the little plane could not handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Since this can be an extremely stressful job for the pilots and a boring ordeal for all you lovely passengers, we have carefully compiled this list of funny one-liners about pilots to keep your spirits up. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common? Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.. Keep up with Katee on Instagram and linkedin.com. Related read: 11 of the Best Veteran Memes That Perfectly Sum Up Veteran Humor. The Air Force will take out a five-year lease with an option to buy at the end. A: The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. Members of the U.S. Navy are known to be a pretty sarcastic bunch. Hey, Im from Chicago too!. Pizza de Resistance Civilian casual tees are absolutely unacceptable. St. When the Marine finishes up, he starts to head for the door.